Social norms for a relationship 50, 60, or 70 years ago no longer apply to today’s relationships and as the world advances, so do the complexities that come with everyday life. There’s pressure from every angle to be better at work, be better at home, perform a juggling act with responsibilities, but then also keep a happy, healthy relationship. It’s not always easy.
Relationships take work to maintain a certain level of healthiness and they need to grow as life changes. Being able to recognise when your relationship is slipping into that unhealthy territory and when to seek help can be key to getting things back on track.
Poor Communication
Communication is the foundation for every strong and successful relationship. It’s so important that it can be the make-or-break point for you as a couple.
When your communication is suffering, problems never get fully resolved. Issues turn into bigger conflicts leading to increased arguments and unhealthy dynamics between you and your partner. How you’re interacting with each other can lead to resentment, distrust, and a feeling of reduced safety within your relationship.
Poor communication can be use of generalised language during a conversation or an argument. It turns one instance into a personality trait or can come off as placing blame before you even open up the conversation.
It can also be passive participation, aggressive language, defensiveness, invalidating the other’s feelings, poor listening, and most importantly, avoiding the important topics.
How to Spot Emotional Avoidance
Emotional Distance And Avoidance
Some people are more prone than others to share their feelings and be open about their emotions. Not everyone has to be an open book, sharing their feelings with the world.
The person you should be able to share these feelings with is your partner. If you’ve been experiencing troubles or have found yourself growing apart from your partner, it can create a sense of distance or loneliness.
The reality is that people change over time. You and your partner need to be able to adapt and adjust with these changes. If you’re feeling shut out by your partner or are having difficulty connecting with them on an emotional level, it could be a sign something needs to be addressed.
Trust Issues
Losing trust in your partner, whether it be behaviour or infidelity, is a sure sign that there’s damage to the relationship. Lack of trust in your partner can be a painful experience and one that can trickle into other areas of life.
If one partner was unfaithful, there will be a sliver of doubt in the back of the other person’s head. No matter how strong someone is or how much they say they can get past it, without proper counselling, it’s less likely this will prove to be true.
Feeling Unsupported
When you enter into a relationship, there’s an understanding that this person is going to be there for you and vice versa. Trust, respect, support all have to be earned and nurtured with healthy habits.
When you aren’t communicating effectively or aren’t feeling connected, you may start to feel less support from your partner. Once you feel unsupported, it can be difficult to express yourself or feel safe in the relationship.
Lack Of Intimacy
Every couple is going to have different ideas of what intimacy means and different levels of expression. When your sex life goes through a change, it can be indicative of something deeper.
Is it related to emotional or physical issues? Are you feeling less interested in your partner? Some people will just contribute it to life getting busy or that it just happens when you’re with someone for so long. The truth is, it’s a concerning manner.
Are you experiencing a shift in your relationship that’s taking a toll on you or your partner ?
Talk to Someone
If you are struggling or have just recognised a recent deterioration in your relationship, be sure to reach out to someone. Try to speak to your partner and try to unblock the emotional avoidance, it may be a chasm or just temporary, but its worth an attempt.
You could also confide in a friend or speak to a counsellor or therapist for help and support. They can give you the resources you need to help you while you both work through the various issues causing the disconnect.
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